Virginia Ellen (Burke) FikesMay 14th 1934 - September 14th 2008
I don't have any children, so I doubt I will ever have a greater pain in my life than the death of my Mother. On September 13th she started feeling sick. By the 14th she decided she should go to the hospital. For Mom that ment it was serious, she hated doctors and hospitals and by the time she convinced herself to go it was too late. She had a blockage in her heart, and the local hospital was not equipped to deal with it. They had cath surgeons on staff but not on the weekends, so they tried to get her to Anchorage, but she died in the air on the way there.
My Sisters helen and Sandra were there with me when she said her last words, Lewis was bringing Dad from Big lake and Susan was in Washington.
I am still angry. Angry she didn't go in a day sooner, angry they didn't have a cath lab open on Sunday at Valley Hospital, angry Mom died before we got back to Petersville to look for Gold and angry she didn't live to be 110. Every day sorrow and pain start to creep in and I force it back with anger. I think if I allowed the sorry to take over it might be more than I could take.
Mom always understood, always got the joke, always laughed even if it wasn't funny, always said "I love you" at the end of a telephone call, always offered me something to eat, or money, or what ever she thought I might need. Mom loved red wine, martinis, steaks and chocolate and collecting dolls and pianos and elephants and lions and Mom loved her children and husband and devoted her life to making ours better. We are better for your having been here, and so much worse for your having gone. I love you Mom.
1 comment:
It's been a few weeks since you wrote this, but I just found it tonight... Or I guess it's really morning. Whatever. It brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. I still miss Mom terribly and think about her many times a day. There was so much I still wanted to do with her, and for her. So much I still wanted to tell her... So much I know she still had to tell us.
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